“You are driven by your ideas. You stick by your ideals no matter what. You do your best to make a difference in the world. Still, deep down, you sometimes have the urge to get away from it all. You are thinking about a short vacation, some time to clean your head and make time for yourself.”
You might think “Yes! That’s me. Glad somebody finally sees the real me.” Well, truth is, so do 3.903.789.562 other people. It is such a broad statement that it fits almost anybody. It is a political statement.
Have you ever closely listened to how a politician talks? He doesn’t say “We need four new schools”, instead he says “We need to help improve children’s education”. But how? What specifically? At the end of each talk you wonder how can you say so much without saying anything? Politicians talk general, not specific.
And that’s the same with self-truth-telling-tests. They are so general that they most likely fit your personality, or what you want and hope your personality to be like. If they do not fit, which they rarely do, you assume the test is bullshit. “What idea does the internet have, telling me who I am anyways?!”
What politicians as well as any horoscope or personality test uses is a language model called the Milton Model of language. Milton was a very successful hypnotherapist. The reason for his success was, as Richard Bandler and Jon Grinder found out, that he never talked specifically to his clients about their issues, like e.g. losing weight. Instead he talked in metaphors, allowing the client to extrapolate their own meaning.
The Milton Model is the reason why it’s easy to believe in self-tests. And politicians. We hear what we want to hear.
But even though most of us know that those tests don’t reveal a whole lot about us, we still keep doing them.
When was the last time you took an IQ test, an EQ test, or a GQ test?…What your palm reveals about you…Do you have ADD/ Depression/ Commitment Issues? How to fascinate? What your sleeping position tells you about your relationship. What the shape of your forehead reveals about the way you relate to your mailman… There are hundreds of websites that contain nothing else but self tests.
We are drawn to them.
Why do we need an online test, with an answer generated by a machine, telling us who we are, what we are good at, and what we want in our lives?
I researched quite some time to find out if there is scientific research why we keep doing those tests, but unfortunately I couldn’t find any. So I had to come up with my own answers.
But why wouldn’t I be as good as any other test telling you.
WHAT READING THIS ARTICLE REVEALS ABOUT YOU – 5 FACTS
FACT #1: You don’t trust yourself enough
You think how-good-is-your-relationshanship.com will tell you more about your relationship than you know already. How do you feel in your relationship? Do you fight 10 hours every day?
What if you fight for fun and the make-up sex is so mind-blowing that you love fighting? How is a test supposed to judge that? If you fight ten hours per day but you feel good, trust your feeling.
Don’t give the responsibility for yourself and your feelings away.
FACT #2: You are insecure
If you are insecure, it means that you don’t trust yourself enough to handle life’s circumstances. If you are able to find security in yourself, you will lose the dependence on self-tests telling you if you are a great person or not. Insecurity is a form of fear.
To overcome fear you need certainty that you can handle whatever life may bring you. What would you have to fear if you knew that you can handle anything? NOTHING!
If you find security in yourself here is nothing to be afraid of. Find a way to trust in your abilities to handle any situation. Turn the fear around: Turn „I can’t handle some things life might bring me“ into “I can handle whatever life brings me.” Because if it is failure, you learn from it.
FACT #3: You pay too much attention to what other people think about you
Instead of focusing on what you think about yourself, you focus on references of the outside. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s utterly important to take your outside into account.
It’s not an invitation to live an egoistic life, but the key is to find the balance.
FACT #4: You still think you are in High school
Think about your whole education. School education is based on the idea that you have to take a test and then have you teacher telling you if you did good or bad. You had no chance to evaluate that by yourself. You needed somebody else to tell you. We are used to tests telling us if we are good or bad.
If you don’t grow out of the idea that authorities, like your teachers, know better what’s good for you and what isn’t, you will always stay in the I’m-a-highschool-kid-mentality. The I’m-a-highschool-kid-mentality leads to dependence on people rewarding or punishing you. Grow up.
FACT #5: You have no idea who you are
Telling you to grow up is easy. To actually do it, is a lot harder. When you grow, you constantly reinvent yourself. And when you finally think you know who you are, you change again, you grow again, and you again have no idea who you are. It is, and it should be, a never ending process.
Accept that you are not THE one and only whatever. You are many things and you are constantly evolving.
Next time you come across a self-help test, ask yourself if any of the above applies to you. If it does. Instead of taking the test, work on yourself.
Share with your friends who you think might have a problem.